PINE NUTS – Though War is Dumb – It Can Become Imperative
July 31, 2026 | McAvoy Lane
War was the problem solver of choice back when we settled our differences with battle axes, whereupon, with each and every advancement in weaponry, we got more wars. Even when disagreements between countries appeared to be solvable at the bargaining table, well, those disagreements oftentimes slipped off the bargaining table into a sea of testosterone.
Here in America, we were starting to see the futileness of war during Twain’s time, when he penned, “The Private History of a Campaign that Failed.”
“Well, fifteen of us gathered together in a secret place by night and formed ourselves into a military company: The Marion Rangers. I arrived riding a small yellow donkey, so small my feet touched the ground on both sides, and he was able to bend around and bite me on the legs. I was carrying a skillet, a squirrel gun and an open umbrella to keep the sun off. They made me second lieutenant. We had no first lieutenant -I don’t know why.
“We struck across some rocky pastureland which offered good advantages for stumbling; consequently we were down in the mud most of the time, and every time a man went down he black guarded the war and everybody connected with it, and gave himself the master dose of all for being so foolish as to go into it.”
I ordered Sgt. Bowers to go out to Hyde’s prairie and post a picket until midnight. He said he wouldn’t go, on account of the weather. I ordered the others to go and they said they wouldn’t go; in any kind of weather.
So for the next two weeks we learned more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. And in that little time, that two weeks, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced -had passed away. So I seceded from the secession. Well, the ungetaroundable truth is, I was missing in action -before a shot was fired. Some said I was too irregular, even for the irregulars.”
So today we can appreciate the satire in Mark Twain’s, “Private History of a Campaign that Failed.” Fast forwarding 165 years to 2026, the contentious country of Iran seems hellbent on creating a nuclear weapon capable of an explosion creating a core hotter than the Sun, vaporizing everything at ground zero, and emitting an intense flash of heat to cause severe third-degree burns, and igniting fires over several surrounding miles. This is a weapon that should never be in the hands of a party that regards violence as a problem solver.
So please allow me to close here by stating, “War is dumb, until it evokes survival, and becomes imperative. In this time of uncertainty let us not allow an emergence of a nuclear Iran, but let us secure a permanent termination of the war on all fronts, then march anew down the long and difficult road toward universal deescalation and worldwide disarmament…